I have many friends who choose to play an avatar that’s the opposite of their gender IRL. However, NONE of them carry out romantic relationships without informing their SL partner first, of their RL gender. I think that’s the best way to be, even if your partner is infatuated with your SL pixels, they deserve to know. Let them decide if they want to carry on the relationship, don’t decide for them. Truth is best, don’t you think?
What’s really sad is know-it-all bitches who “think” they know someone’s gender and go out of their way to ruin someones reputation. Pathetic really! Perhaps they are man in real life?
This happened to me. I met someone on SL that was the same SL gender as myself, a woman. I developed very strong feelings for her in RL. The problem is that I am not a lesbian. I kept trying to figure out how I was going to tell my parents I loved a woman. She finally told me she was a he in RL. That he only played a woman on SL because shopping and dressing for men was so boring. I am happy to say that I am now living with him in RL and couldn’t be happier! Never had to tell my parents that I was a lesbian!! YIPPEE!!!
This is a sensitive issue, and one where I can’t honestly pick any of the options. It depends on the situation- some people really strive to separate SL from RL, and therefore, RL sex/gender doesn’t necessarily have a place in their interactions. Some people use SL as a chance to get in touch with their ‘real’ selves, as they cannot afford expensive operations and/or the judgement of society for making such a decision. There’s also the factor of how “deep” the romantic relationship is- is it confined to SL? What about storyline-roleplay versus casual interaction? Are both partners able to separate SL from RL?
Personally, I think the matter of how the person views romantic/intimate relationships and what their status is in RL may matter more than what bits and pieces their RL body may have.
On Sundays, I’m male, Mon = female, Tue = Rabid Furry, Wed= Robot, Thur= Tiny Kangaroo, Fri= vapor cloud, Sat= mystery avi. Friends are friends no matter what and people I have a deeper connection can be what ever they want to be. 🙂
I’ve had friends playing female avatars do MASSIVE build ups to telling me they are male in RL, like it was some huge secret they just couldn’t let go of only to be like “Okay. No biggie” once they get it out. The way I see it is you love the person, not their gender. That applies to friends, lovers, partners and anything in between in SL. My current partner is female in avatar and real life (I never actually asked, but she DJs and uses voice when she does), and we have been together for a year and a bit, but if she told me tomorrow “oh wait, I’m a guy” I wouldn’t love her even one less bit… because its her I love, her sense of humor, her intelligence, her caring. Thats my take on it.
Gogo, since I’m allegedly on that short list of friends you got in SL, are you insinuating I’m a GUY?! 😛 Bish!
Honestly, it doesn’t matter what their gender in RL is, what does count is how they behave and treat others. If their presence in SL consists of bullying, hate-harvesting, drama-whoring, and/or stupid-infesting who cares what they got in between their legs? They still got turd for brains.
So boy, girl, asexual, amoeba, turtle, it’s all okay to me as long as they got an OK personality.
Trust is always best!
I think when you have feelings for someone & they have feelings for you want to know definitely tell or you are just a jerk playing with your “love”ed ones feelings.